I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
