i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
