you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
