No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
