I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I need water and some morals
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
