You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
