that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
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