Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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