I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
How does it feel to date your dad?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
