Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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