Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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