what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
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I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
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Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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