So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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