Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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