She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
