I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize