Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
