I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize