Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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