11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
