i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
