I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
