i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
God I need to hump something, right now.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
