We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
