I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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