he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
