He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
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Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
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I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!