No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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