i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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