Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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