is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I lost the right to judge tonight
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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