im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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