I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
