Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize