If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
