I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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