I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
