I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
