Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The Olympian is in my bed
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
