Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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