This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
