I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive.
So much puke
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize