How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
