Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
