i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
