The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Everything about him screamed your future.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
