We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
