Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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