i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
