you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
