pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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