Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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