it wasn't lemon gatorade
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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