I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
