4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
