Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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