discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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