god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
