it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
