I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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