We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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