I smell stomach acid.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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