dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
