I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
