Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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