GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
