I think scott just propositioned me for sex
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
