I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
there was a trapeze. enough said
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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